Lindquist Mortuaries and Cemeteries

Guest Book for Patricia Ann Pressler (July 31, 1946 - November 23, 2012) Lydia Westover  Kaysville, Utah November 28, 2012 11:58 PM Amy, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure you'll miss your mom very much. We'll be there for you--your "school buddies." We pray for your peace & comfort. Love, Lydia Naomi Seely Robinson  Layton, Utah November 27, 2012 2:44 PM So sorry to hear of the passing of your wife and mother. She was a very special person. I still have and cherish cross-stitch items, and also a picture that were given to me by the Pressler family when my husband, and Matt's father, Loyd passed away. Ron Peterson  Pleasant Grove, Utah November 27, 2012 10:58 AM John and Family, I want to express my sincere sorrow for your loss. I pray for peace and comfort at this time and pray for your Heavenly Father's choicest blessings to be poured out upon you and your family. Ron Peterson Greg and Paige Adams  Kaysville, Utah November 27, 2012 2:06 AM John and Family, Paige and I wish to express our deepest condolences. May our Heavenly Father bless you and your family during this time of loss. Greg and Paige Adams Pamela Maurer  Layton, Utah November 26, 2012 1:52 PM I am so sorry for the passing of your wife and mother. You will be in my prayers and thoughts. May you blessed with wonderful memories and the knowledge you will be reunited.

Mourning My Mother ~ Part Three ~ The Funeral

This is my story. My perception of things. If you don't like it, don't read it.

Tuesday November 27, 2012
I finally got a good night's sleep. I don't think I woke up once.
I still don't feel like getting out of bed.
Ryan and Ivie go down to eat breakfast.
I'm not hungry.
We need to check out of the hotel by noon.
We start packing.
I iron the boys' clothes.
I take a shower.
We get the boys ready.
We all get ready.
Ryan is dressed in his suit. He looks so handsome.
We pack the car and Ryan checks us out of the hotel.
We head to my parent's house.
I don't want to do this!
Everyone at their house is almost ready. Some are eating lunch.
Ryan tells me that I need to eat something.
I go out into the breezeway and start to sob.
Being at her house is hard.
I take Ivie down to Maverick. We have been craving hot dogs from there for the last 2 years. I still can't taste anything, but at least it's food.
We go back to the house and get ready to head to the Church.
My friend Heidi stops by. She brings me a card and tells me I look beautiful.
It means so much. I am so blessed with so many good people in my life!
We need to get to the Church.
Ryan, Triston, Aidan and I drive over.
We walk into the Relief Society room.
There she is.
Family and friends are there. Some that I haven't seen in years.
I put a red rose boutonniere on Ryan's lapel.
My sister Amy says the Family prayer.
They close the casket.
It's the last time I'll see her physical body.
It's time for the funeral to start.
I hear Bishop Napier ask everyone to stand as we walk in the Chapel.
I sit down with the congregation.
There are a lot of people there.
I am overwhelmed.
My sister Katie is saying the opening prayer. She goes to sit with the others that are speaking.
I am speaking, so I decide I better go up there too.
The Bishop begins and then Katie says the prayer.
My turn
This is what I read...(written by my Dad).
Patricia Ann Holmes was born Wednesday July 31, 1946 to Rose Elizabeth Knudsen and Fred Holmes in Pocatello Idaho. She was reared in the Pocatello Inkom area of Idaho living in various locations. Her mother Rose passed away when she was nine years old leaving the major portion of raising her baby brother to her sister Evelyn.
She graduated from Marsh Valley High School in 1964 and attended nursing school in Pocatello. After graduating she moved to the West coast. First stop was in Portland Oregon then Los Angeles to be with her younger sister Judy. Next stop was in San Diego where she met John who was serving in the US Navy. John and Pat were married civilly in the San Diego County courthouse on February 3, 1973. After their wedding they moved to Fort Wayne Indiana Jon's home town. They were sealed for time and eternity in the Los Angeles temple on July 6, 1977. All of their children were born in Fort Wayne at Parkview Memorial Hospital. When John lost his job in 1985 he started his career with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and they moved to Indianapolis Indiana. That was a difficult two years for Pat but relief came in 1987 when they were transferred to Salt Lake City and they moved to Layton Utah were Pat was closer to her family. Her children were raised in Layton and all five graduated from Layton High School. Pat served in various church callings and loved her most recent calling as a gospel doctrine teacher.
She passed away Friday November 23, 2012 in the Davis county hospital after a short illness. She leaves behind her five children Christopher, Megan, Michael, Amy and Katie and eleven grandchildren. Emily, Eric, Jessica, Ivie, Benjamin, Joseph, Brian, Triston, McCall, Aidan and Millie. She also leaves behind two sisters, Evelyn and Judy. She is preceded in death by her parents Rose and Fred Holmes, her brother Delbert and one grandson Christopher Allen Pressler.

I get choked up big time when I say, "She passed away..."
I go sit back down and almost immediately Aidan starts to fuss.
It's really hot. I start to panic. I feel like I can't breathe.
I take him and go to the back of the chapel.
My friend Mindy comes to sit by me.
She says she'd be happy to take him out for me.
I tell her I'm not sure if he'll let her.
He starts to fuss more so I take him out in to the foyer.
My friend Ruth comes out and tells me she will watch him. She says I need to be in there.
She's right.
I go back into the chapel and sit in the back by my friend.
It's cooler back here and I can breathe.
My brother plays a song he wrote on the piano.
His father-in-law speaks.
I enjoy his words and feel their truth.
My brother speaks.
Bishop Napier speaks.
I love that man.
Triston starts to act up.
Ryan takes him out of the chapel.
Closing prayer is given by my Sister-in-law, Liz.
Time for the audience to rise again and the family starts to leave.
The pallbearers push her casket outside.
They load her casket into the hearse.

We stand around talking to friends and family. Some I haven't seen in a very long time.
It's good to see everyone. I just wish it weren't under these circumstances.
I get to see Erica. She can't stay long, but she gives me the best hug.

My dad, sister, Ivie, nieces and nephews get into the limo to drive down to the cemetery.

We pull into the cemetery.

My brother Michael dedicates the grave and gives a beautiful prayer.

Five white roses. One for each of us kids.
A tradition my dad started when each child was born.

The service is over. It was beautiful.
I feel like I can breathe now. Sort of.
We stand around talking.
We take pictures.

No, I don't want to make a silly face.

Seriously?!

Now it's time to go back to the Church.
They have dinner waiting for us.
I am grateful, but I just want to go home.
I am exhausted.

Everyone eats and then they start to clean up.
Ryan and I talk to the Bishop for a few minutes. What a great man he is.
We go back to my parent's house, talk and coordinate for a minute and then Ryan, Triston, Aidan and I head to Katie and Walter's house.
Before we leave, I take her house key off my key ring and hang it on the key hook in their kitchen. I don't know why. I just did.
It has been a long day and I am ready to sleep in my own bed.
Colorado is screaming my name.
Utah just isn't the same anymore.
Utah is her.
She was everything.

Special thanks to  Lindquist Mortuary

Mourning My Mother ~ Part Two

This is my story. My perception of things. If you don't like it, don't read it.

Friday November 23, 2012
We drive home from the hospital.
People are starting to drop by.

Word is already starting to spread.

She's gone.

People are asking questions.

What happened? How did she go? Was she sick?

I would want to know too, but it's too soon. Just go away. I want to be alone.

I want EVERYONE to leave me alone.

I talk to Ryan.

He says, "How about I drive out tomorrow?"

I start to cry.

He really does love me.

I know we can't really afford the trip, but I need him with me.

He tells me he'll leave around 8 AM.

He's bringing Triston.

I panic.

How are we going to fit this many people in my parent's house? Where will everyone sleep? My brothers and their families are coming!

I guess we'll figure it out.

Katie and I are craving Chinese food.

We go to a bad buffet. At least it's food.

I panic.

I need to be prepared for the funeral! The one small thing I can control.

I need a dress.

Aidan needs dress clothes.

Ivie needs dress shoes.

Grammy got her a new dress. She will wear that to the funeral.

Funeral?!

We go to the DI.

I find two dresses. One that will be perfect for the funeral.

I find shoes for me and some for Ivie.

I find clothes for Aidan.

A vest and pinstriped pants.

He needs shoes!

I panic.

I find a pair at Payless.

We're ready.

Sort of.

I can't find the dress she got Ivie. What am I going to do?!

Why can't I ask her where it is?

I hate this.

I go to her room and take a blanket off her bed.

I can't smell because of the cold, but I'm sure it smells like her.

I just need something to hold on to.

Saturday November 24, 2012
I wake up at 2 AM.
I text Ryan and tell him that I hear through the grapevine that her funeral won't be until Tuesday but I'm not sure yet.
I remind him to bring his suit, Triston's blue shirt and dress shoes.
I eventually fall back to sleep.
We wake up. The house is quiet.
My dad is at meeting at the Mortuary.
I am numb.
It doesn't seem real.
She isn't really gone.
This is just a nightmare that I am going to wake up from.
I am tired. Sleep isn't easy with 2 babies in your room and an uncomfortable creaky bed.
My dreams are blank and dark. I don't remember them.
My dad has made a list of things that need to be done. Cancel insurance, cancel appointments. No! This is all coming on too fast! Someone please stop this!
My sister goes to the airport to pick up my older brother. His family is driving from Tennessee.
My younger brother and his family are coming around 1 PM.
I feel like everything is happening around me. Life is going on, but I just want to lay in bed and cry.
I manage to get ready and leave to meet my girlfriends for lunch.
It's good to see familiar loving faces.
We eat, drink and catch up.
I needed this.
Aidan needs a diaper change.
I forgot to bring any with me.
We go to Walmart.
I need a distraction. I need to wander.
Finally we go back to her house.
My brothers are there.
I meet my niece for the first time.
We have a funeral to plan.
My dad asks me to read the obituary at the funeral. He asks that Ryan be a pallbearer.
Someone brings dinner.
I can't eat.
Katie and Walter take Ivie to see a movie. Katie thinks the distraction is a good idea. I can't go. I took the wrong cold medicine and I'm sleepy. Besides, Aidan won't sit through the movie.
My siblings and I play Phase 10.
My sister finds Ivie's dress.
Ryan and Triston arrive around 9:30 PM.
We all go to bed shortly after they arrive.
Ivie goes to stay at Katie's.
I lay down in the bed with Ryan and cry.
I cry for at least 30 minutes. Maybe more.
He just holds me and lets me cry.
Chest heaving sobs.
I try not to cry too loud. I don't want to wake the boys.
Finally I pass out from sheer exhaustion.

Sunday November 25, 2012
My sister-in-law and my nieces and nephews arrive.
Sunday. Church.
I can't do it.
I can't see the same people that I will see on Tuesday. I can't go through the crying and condolences twice.
Ryan suggests we go stay at a hotel for a couple of nights.
I agree.
We start packing and I try to take a shower a midst the chaos of everyone getting ready for church.
I talk to my Aunt. I haven't talked to her for a few years. It makes me sad.
Ryan finds a hotel close and we head outside to pack the car.
Katie and Ivie arrive.
Ivie doesn't feel like going to church either. She wants to be with me.
We leave my parent's house and go find something to eat.
We have lunch at the Burger Bar. {Fry sauce!}
We stop at Walmart.
I return something and pick up 2 papers.
Her obituary is supposed to be in there.
I hate this.
It still doesn't feel real.
There it is in black and white.

We go check in at the hotel.
The TV is on as a distraction for the kids.
I just lay on the bed trying to tune everything out.
My ears start to hurt.
I take a bath, letting the water run as hot as I can stand it.
I still feel numb.
I ask for help from friends on Facebook. My ears are killing me!
My friend Camille shows up with essential oils to help me with my earache.
She hugs me tight and I can see the tears forming in her eyes.
She knew my Mom.
She knows me. She knows how hard this is for me.
My friends love me.
I feel blessed.
I rub the oils around my ears and try to relax.
Sleep finally comes.

Monday November 26, 2012
I finally got some sleep.
I wake up dreading the day. Especially the evening.
They tell me that her body will be ready at 5:30 PM.
I don't like that.
Her body.
She didn't want a viewing.
It will be a private viewing for just our family.
Ivie and I go across the street to Walgreens.
I need medicine.
I find medicine, soda and two snowmen ornaments to remind us of her.
Ivie picked red and I picked blue.
I find 2 Christmas presents for Aidan and 1 for Ivie.
We go back to the Hotel.

Ryan needs to do laundry.
We head back to my parent's.
Everyone at their house is doing laundry.
We wait for our turn.
I tell Ryan that I am going to go see a friend for a little while. I am leaving him alone with my crazy siblings.
I can't find the car key.
We look everywhere.
It's nowhere to be found.
The sweet ladies from our Church bring us lunch.
I still can't find the key.
I am supposed to meet my friend at 2 PM.
I call and tell her.
She comes to my parent's house instead.
She comes bearing gifts and a big hug.
We finally put our laundry in and Ryan finds the key.
I put it on top of the car.
We go back to the hotel to get ready for the viewing.
Some of us dress up, and some of us are casual.
Aidan fell asleep so he is still in his pj's.
We get to the mortuary. My heart is pounding.
I don't want to do this!

We go in to the room where she is.
I see her and immediately start to cry.
She looks swollen.
She looks beautiful.
They did her hair just as she would have.

We all stand around her casket.
I touch her cold hand.
My dad picked out a beautiful casket.
I start to take pictures.
I don't know why. This is how I cope. This is what I do.
I don't want to do this!
I just want to lay down on the floor in the fetal position and cry. Scream!
This is so unfair!
I am numb again.
I sit in a chair and feel the room spinning.
Everything is moving in slow motion.

I look around and see how hard this is for everyone. My nieces and nephews are crying.
Triston is on the floor playing with his Thomas train.
It makes me angry.
Why is he doing this at her viewing?!
I remember he's only 5.
Aidan starts to fuss, so I take him out into the lobby.
My dad comes out and asks if he is getting hungry.
I say yes and he tells everyone to say their goodbyes so we can go eat.
We go to my parent's house and have pizza.
We go back to the hotel shortly after and decide to take the kids swimming.

I sit in the hot tub trying to relax.
We go back to our room and try to get some much needed sleep.
Tomorrow is the funeral.

Mourning My Mother ~ Part One

This is my story. My perception of things. If you don't like it, don't read it.

Wednesday November 21, 2012
We land in Utah. The flight and trip through the airport is uneventful.
I call her to tell her we are out front waiting.
I see her van and grab both of my babies and run over.
I put the luggage, stroller and our belongings in the back of the van.
I see her for the first time in 8 months.
She is in pain, but smiling from ear to ear. She is with her sweetie girl and her handsome grandson.
Wednesday evening
I come home from running errands. Getting her Thanksgiving grocery list taken care of.
She is pale and her skin is cold and clammy.
She is walking with her walker and her voice is slow and quiet.
I insist on taking her to Instacare. She says it can wait until after I eat my dinner. I tell her I can eat when we get home. That's what microwaves are for.
I tell my Dad and swear under my breath at his response.
I help her in the car, carrying her legs so she doesn't have to lift them.
Instacare is closed.
I take her to the Emergency Room.
I fill out paperwork, ask her questions. Questions I feel I should already know.
They take her back to the room. Room 9.
The TV is on and it is driving her crazy.
The pain is really getting bad.
She never complains, but she is begging for relief.
Lortab...does nothing.
They do an ultrasound of her leg...nothing.
They think it's a blood clot.
It's not.
She wishes it was so the pain would have a reason for being there. So that my Dad wouldn't be upset for her having to be in the ER.
They take blood and put an IV in.
Waiting
Waiting
More waiting.
She is begging to die.
I start to cry.
I'm standing in the doorway watching for a nurse or a Dr. Someone to give us some answers.
They give her a shot of morphine.
It does nothing but make her sleepy.
This is serious.
I'm afraid she will fall out of the chair.
She can't get comfortable.
She won't lay down.
What am I going to do if she falls?
Finally the Dr. comes in.
They can't do a CT scan. Her kidney function isn't normal.
They paged the Neuro Radiologist.
They don't know when he'll be here.
It's 9:30 PM
I haven't eaten since 11:00 AM
The Neuro Radiologist seems kind and I feel comfortable leaving.
He tells me to be back in 45 minutes.
I leave and call my sister.
She says we should trade places because my babies are still awake and need me.
But before I can get home, my Dad has left to be with her.
I feel bad for leaving her.
I feel guilty for leaving her.
I got 4 hours alone with her.
I tried to help her and make her smile.
She was just in so much pain.

Thursday November 22, 2012
She is in the ICU. She has a severe infection.
3 to 5 day hospital stay.
Thanksgiving is going on as planned.
Aidan and I take a nap.
We eat dinner.
Katie, Walter and I go to see her at the Hospital.
Ivie isn't old enough, so she can't go.
They tell us that she's doing much better and is on the 3rd floor.
I call my dad to tell him the great news.
She's not on the 3rd floor.
The nurse apologizes. She heard the wrong name.
We find her in room 10.
She is hooked up to machines.
She is on a bi-pap machine.
She is sleeping.
Cruel cruel nurse.
We watch her sleep.
The nurse tells us she's septic.
Katie starts to cry.
Walter tells the nurse that his dad just passed away from Sepsis.
The nurse wakes my Mom.
"Pat, your kids are here."
She wakes up.
She looks scared.
She asks about Thanksgiving and if we found the recipes we needed.
I hold her hand and kiss her face.
My dad arrives.
Katie and Walter leave.
She asks my dad and I to pull her up in the bed.
She's holding my hand so tight.
She's squeezing both our hands so so tight.
I tell her to relax.
She says, "I am relaxed!"
It's hard to hear her through the machines.
I tell her we'll come see her tomorrow.
I tell her I love her.
She says, "I love you too."

Friday November 23, 2012
We wake up later than usual.
My dad tells me that she is worse and that visiting hours are over for now, so I can't go see her until noon.
I take the kids to IHOP.
Ivie wants to go to Build a Bear.
We head to Sandy Utah.
I text Ryan to tell him that she is worse and I don't think she's going to make it.
Driving to Sandy my mind starts to wander.
Funeral
Life without her.
NO!
I pick up my order in Sandy and we head to Build a Bear.
My phone rings.
It's Amy.
I know why she's calling.
"Mom just died. You probably want to get to the hospital."
NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I pull the car over.
I have to tell Ivie.
I get out of the car so I can hold her and hug her and kiss her.
I tell her we have to go to the hospital.
I am crying, but I have to drive.
I call Ryan.
He lets out a cry of anguish.
The same cry my heart is making.
I tell him I need to get off the phone so I can drive safely.
I call Kristie.
We get to the hospital.
I charge into the ICU.
I have 2 children under the age of 14 with me.
I do not care.
We get to the door.
Room 10
We go in.
Ivie sees her and runs out crying.
My Dad goes after Ivie.
I run to her side.
She looks like she is sleeping.
I grab her arm. She is still warm.
She is gone.

Friends Since Jr. High

Yesterday my friend Taleen and I met us while she was in town. She was demonstrating her amazing Honey Wine Vinegar at Whole Foods.
It was so nice to see her after many years and catch up like no time has passed. Another one of our friends dropped by for a few minutes. I don't think I've seen him since our High School reunion. I don't remember!
I love that I still have so many friends that I grew up with.
Love you all!