Christmas Eve and Morning 2012

Spider Man Watch!

Quote

I heard this quote last night on Batman and it really struck a cord with me...
"To be angry. In your bones. 
I mean, they understand. Foster parents, everybody, understands, for a while. But then they want the angry little kid to do something he knows he can't do. 
To move on."
I feel bad for feeling anger. I know of God's plan for her and how it was her time to go...but sometimes I am angry. Angry in my bones.

Christmas Letter to My Mom

Merry Christmas Mom.
This is the first Christmas I won't be able to see or talk to you.
I miss you like crazy.
I want to hear your voice and I want to promise I'll send you the pictures of the kids opening their presents.
I want to tell you how much Aidan is talking now and hold the phone up so you can  hear him. I want you to talk to Ivie and have her tell you about the presents she got and how thankful she is.
I want to tell you about the cinnamon rolls I made for breakfast and how I'm making Christmas potatoes like you always did and double check the recipe with you.
I keep waiting to feel you near me, but I don't know that I'm ready yet. I don't know that you're ready yet. You're probably still getting settled and "catching" up with our loved ones that went before you.
I love you Mom. I miss you and think of you every minute of the day.
Your daughter,
Megan

Merry Christmas From Florida Ave. 2012

Everyone knows I was her favorite. ;)

Ivie's ornament from Grandma Jeanne

Ivie's ornament that we picked out to remember Grammy.

Aidan's ornament from Grandma Jeanne

Triston's ornament from Grandma Jeanne

I got the Families are Forever block the day my Mom passed away. I will look at it and be reminded that I will see her again.

Heartfelt Words From Loved Ones

Hello Megan,

I just got your email about the ornament exchange and I am so sorry that your mother passed away. I am glad that you are there in UT and that you were able to be there for her and your family. I pray that you can find peace and comfort at this time. Lots of love and prayers coming your way! 

love,

Deanna

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Hi, Megan and Ryan,

I just wanted to say how sorry I am about your mother’s passing.  I can’t imagine how hard that would be.  I don’t know how I would respond to expecting a pleasant vacation home and having something like that happen so fast. I don’t know how it is from your perspective but for me, I find it not a coincidence that you were able to see her and be with her to say goodbye.  Your testimony was so powerful yesterday.  I don’t know how God’s comfort through the Holy Ghost can be so evident in horrible times but I’m so glad that it comes.  It is so reassuring to know that the presence of the Holy Ghost at these times means that mortality isn’t the last time we’ll see our family members.  I was reading Elder Scott’s conference talk from April for our Elder’s Quorum lesson 2 Sundays ago (right around the time I heard the news of your mother).  Here’s an excerpt that I wanted to share:

“Another example of revelation is this guidance given to President Joseph F. Smith: “I believe we move and have our being in the presence of heavenly messengers and of heavenly beings. We are not separate from them. … We are closely related to our kindred, to our ancestors … who have preceded us into the spirit world. We can not forget them; we do not cease to love them; we always hold them in our hearts, in memory, and thus we are associated and united to them by ties that we can not break. … If this is the case with us in our finite condition, surrounded by our mortal weaknesses, … how much more certain it is … to believe that those who have been faithful, who have gone beyond … can see us better than we can see them; that they know us better than we know them. … We live in their presence, they see us, they are solicitous for our welfare, they love us now more than ever. For now they see the dangers that beset us; … their love for us and their desire for our well being must be greater than that which we feel for ourselves.”1

Relationships can be strengthened through the veil with people we know and love. That is done by our determined effort to continually do what is right. We can strengthen our relationship with the departed individual we love by recognizing that the separation is temporary and that covenants made in the temple are eternal. When consistently obeyed, such covenants assure the eternal realization of the promises inherent in them.”

He taught here things that I haven’t thought about or paid much attention to in the past, but I think I want to more in the future. I hope this is some comfort to you.  From your testimony, it sounds like it already has been the case to some extent. 

Please don’t hesitate to ask Aaron or me for anything you might need help with.  We are willing to help.  Sorry I wasn’t available for a blessing before your trip.  If you’d like blessings in the future, please continue to ask as often as needed.

Sincerely,

Ryan

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I am so sorry to hear that your mom passed away. Please know we are praying for you and are here to help you in any way. I can babysit or bring in a meal or just provide a shoulder to cry on. Let me know how I can help you. 

Our deepest sympathies, 
Nate and Maria

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Alexis

I've been somewhat MIA from Facebook and just heard about your mom. I'm so so sorry about your loss. Please let me know if I can do anything! 
Love you!!! 27 hugs!




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Terril


You've been on my mind for days... I hope you're finding the strength to get through this. I can't imagine how hard this must be. I want you to know I'm here if you ever need anything. I love you girl and I know your momma did too... I'm sure she was so proud to have you as her daughter. You'll always miss her but it will get easier with time.




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HeatherOh Megan, I am so sad to hear of the loss of your Mom! I know there are no words, but I want you to know you are in my heart and my prayers! I pray the Lord comforts you and your family through this time of grieving! Sending huge hugs & lots of love your way!!!





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Norma









Megan, I really enjoyed your testimony today. I know how hard it is to loose your mom. My heart goes out to you. Just remember the good times you shared. It will get easier, and will take some time. May Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost comfort you at this difficult time. 
Love,
Mimi

Lindquist Mortuaries and Cemeteries

Guest Book for Patricia Ann Pressler (July 31, 1946 - November 23, 2012) Lydia Westover  Kaysville, Utah November 28, 2012 11:58 PM Amy, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure you'll miss your mom very much. We'll be there for you--your "school buddies." We pray for your peace & comfort. Love, Lydia Naomi Seely Robinson  Layton, Utah November 27, 2012 2:44 PM So sorry to hear of the passing of your wife and mother. She was a very special person. I still have and cherish cross-stitch items, and also a picture that were given to me by the Pressler family when my husband, and Matt's father, Loyd passed away. Ron Peterson  Pleasant Grove, Utah November 27, 2012 10:58 AM John and Family, I want to express my sincere sorrow for your loss. I pray for peace and comfort at this time and pray for your Heavenly Father's choicest blessings to be poured out upon you and your family. Ron Peterson Greg and Paige Adams  Kaysville, Utah November 27, 2012 2:06 AM John and Family, Paige and I wish to express our deepest condolences. May our Heavenly Father bless you and your family during this time of loss. Greg and Paige Adams Pamela Maurer  Layton, Utah November 26, 2012 1:52 PM I am so sorry for the passing of your wife and mother. You will be in my prayers and thoughts. May you blessed with wonderful memories and the knowledge you will be reunited.

Mourning My Mother ~ Part Three ~ The Funeral

This is my story. My perception of things. If you don't like it, don't read it.

Tuesday November 27, 2012
I finally got a good night's sleep. I don't think I woke up once.
I still don't feel like getting out of bed.
Ryan and Ivie go down to eat breakfast.
I'm not hungry.
We need to check out of the hotel by noon.
We start packing.
I iron the boys' clothes.
I take a shower.
We get the boys ready.
We all get ready.
Ryan is dressed in his suit. He looks so handsome.
We pack the car and Ryan checks us out of the hotel.
We head to my parent's house.
I don't want to do this!
Everyone at their house is almost ready. Some are eating lunch.
Ryan tells me that I need to eat something.
I go out into the breezeway and start to sob.
Being at her house is hard.
I take Ivie down to Maverick. We have been craving hot dogs from there for the last 2 years. I still can't taste anything, but at least it's food.
We go back to the house and get ready to head to the Church.
My friend Heidi stops by. She brings me a card and tells me I look beautiful.
It means so much. I am so blessed with so many good people in my life!
We need to get to the Church.
Ryan, Triston, Aidan and I drive over.
We walk into the Relief Society room.
There she is.
Family and friends are there. Some that I haven't seen in years.
I put a red rose boutonniere on Ryan's lapel.
My sister Amy says the Family prayer.
They close the casket.
It's the last time I'll see her physical body.
It's time for the funeral to start.
I hear Bishop Napier ask everyone to stand as we walk in the Chapel.
I sit down with the congregation.
There are a lot of people there.
I am overwhelmed.
My sister Katie is saying the opening prayer. She goes to sit with the others that are speaking.
I am speaking, so I decide I better go up there too.
The Bishop begins and then Katie says the prayer.
My turn
This is what I read...(written by my Dad).
Patricia Ann Holmes was born Wednesday July 31, 1946 to Rose Elizabeth Knudsen and Fred Holmes in Pocatello Idaho. She was reared in the Pocatello Inkom area of Idaho living in various locations. Her mother Rose passed away when she was nine years old leaving the major portion of raising her baby brother to her sister Evelyn.
She graduated from Marsh Valley High School in 1964 and attended nursing school in Pocatello. After graduating she moved to the West coast. First stop was in Portland Oregon then Los Angeles to be with her younger sister Judy. Next stop was in San Diego where she met John who was serving in the US Navy. John and Pat were married civilly in the San Diego County courthouse on February 3, 1973. After their wedding they moved to Fort Wayne Indiana Jon's home town. They were sealed for time and eternity in the Los Angeles temple on July 6, 1977. All of their children were born in Fort Wayne at Parkview Memorial Hospital. When John lost his job in 1985 he started his career with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and they moved to Indianapolis Indiana. That was a difficult two years for Pat but relief came in 1987 when they were transferred to Salt Lake City and they moved to Layton Utah were Pat was closer to her family. Her children were raised in Layton and all five graduated from Layton High School. Pat served in various church callings and loved her most recent calling as a gospel doctrine teacher.
She passed away Friday November 23, 2012 in the Davis county hospital after a short illness. She leaves behind her five children Christopher, Megan, Michael, Amy and Katie and eleven grandchildren. Emily, Eric, Jessica, Ivie, Benjamin, Joseph, Brian, Triston, McCall, Aidan and Millie. She also leaves behind two sisters, Evelyn and Judy. She is preceded in death by her parents Rose and Fred Holmes, her brother Delbert and one grandson Christopher Allen Pressler.

I get choked up big time when I say, "She passed away..."
I go sit back down and almost immediately Aidan starts to fuss.
It's really hot. I start to panic. I feel like I can't breathe.
I take him and go to the back of the chapel.
My friend Mindy comes to sit by me.
She says she'd be happy to take him out for me.
I tell her I'm not sure if he'll let her.
He starts to fuss more so I take him out in to the foyer.
My friend Ruth comes out and tells me she will watch him. She says I need to be in there.
She's right.
I go back into the chapel and sit in the back by my friend.
It's cooler back here and I can breathe.
My brother plays a song he wrote on the piano.
His father-in-law speaks.
I enjoy his words and feel their truth.
My brother speaks.
Bishop Napier speaks.
I love that man.
Triston starts to act up.
Ryan takes him out of the chapel.
Closing prayer is given by my Sister-in-law, Liz.
Time for the audience to rise again and the family starts to leave.
The pallbearers push her casket outside.
They load her casket into the hearse.

We stand around talking to friends and family. Some I haven't seen in a very long time.
It's good to see everyone. I just wish it weren't under these circumstances.
I get to see Erica. She can't stay long, but she gives me the best hug.

My dad, sister, Ivie, nieces and nephews get into the limo to drive down to the cemetery.

We pull into the cemetery.

My brother Michael dedicates the grave and gives a beautiful prayer.

Five white roses. One for each of us kids.
A tradition my dad started when each child was born.

The service is over. It was beautiful.
I feel like I can breathe now. Sort of.
We stand around talking.
We take pictures.

No, I don't want to make a silly face.

Seriously?!

Now it's time to go back to the Church.
They have dinner waiting for us.
I am grateful, but I just want to go home.
I am exhausted.

Everyone eats and then they start to clean up.
Ryan and I talk to the Bishop for a few minutes. What a great man he is.
We go back to my parent's house, talk and coordinate for a minute and then Ryan, Triston, Aidan and I head to Katie and Walter's house.
Before we leave, I take her house key off my key ring and hang it on the key hook in their kitchen. I don't know why. I just did.
It has been a long day and I am ready to sleep in my own bed.
Colorado is screaming my name.
Utah just isn't the same anymore.
Utah is her.
She was everything.

Special thanks to  Lindquist Mortuary